Lord of the Flyswatter

This past weekend we took a skiff ride over to Long Island for some camping.  It was a great time with a hike over to some old WWII bunkers.  I’m not sure what the purpose of the bunker was but it sure was fun to go in and snoop around.  We found an old phone switchboard, but other than that it was just a bunch of old rooms. 

Welcome Home

Welcome Home Again

This photo was taken in complete darkness. I just hit the shutter release on the camera and shined my headlamp all over to illuminate the room.

Housing of Plane Buster

Base for the Housing

This thing was for plane busting but I don’t think it was ever used and is currently in disrepair.

On a side note a new for of corporal punishment was invented, or relived.  Apparently there are groups on the island that are responsible for monitoring the debris washing up on the shore from the Japanese tsunami.  There have been boats and docks, but we didn’t find anything that large.  Apparently there was a flyswatter warehouse or some kind of large supply of flyswatters that have washed up on the shore.  These flyswatters were used for party fowl punishment.  The way it works is sort of like a modified tooth for a tooth system. 

For example if you poke in the fire while I am roasting a mallow and you get ash on my mallow I am legally obligated to swat you, or have someone else swat you.  The place where you get swatted is up to you, but it must be bare flesh that is exposed.  Generally offenders take their swat on the back of the hand, but some may elect the stomach or buttocks.

There is much debate as to which swatting location generates the most laughter from the jury.

I was successful in not receiving any swats.

Thinking of the Prodigal Church

The Wife, not to be confused with the Shema

This is a picture I took outside the Kinda-cottage.  It is not the Shema, but the picture below is.                    

The Shema, not to be confused with the Wife

This is the picture of the Shema on our door to the outside world.  We have one on the other side of the door so that we can say it both leaving and coming. You know talk about the Shema when you sit in your Kinda-cottage and when you walk along the road by your Kinda-cottage, when you lie down in your Kinda-cottage and when you get up in your Kinda-cottage. We decided to write the Shema on the door to our Kinda-cottage.Apparently our group back home has been studying the Shema.  I can't wait for Dr. Chiro to tell me what it means.  You should look up the Shema in the bible and you might get the joke from above. I won't put in on the blog, I'm not going to be that easy but I will tell you where it is.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Thinking of you Prodigal Church

Shelfishness

My wife does not read this blog so I can post a plea for help.

She checks the mail everyday and sees all the post cards and packages all the other college aged counselors get.

She told me she wishes that she would get something from back home.

She has not been feeling that well this week and could sure use some words of encouragement.

Just saying.........

Kodiak Baptist Mission
1944 East Rezanof Drive
Kodiak, Alaska 99615

KBM VIDEO FUN

I would suggest watching these videos on the regular YouTube channel.

The Kids get to see this one every Monday to remind them of what they forgot over the weekend.

This is a video that was made last week.  Sunshine comes every few weeks in Kodiak, last we we had 9 straight days of sunshine.

Every day in the afternoon we participate in a challenge against other counselors. I couldn't get the balloon to pop with the razor so I just pulled out my ball point pin and finished the job off.

I hope you enjoyed it.

Woody Island

Today is the birthday of my eldest nephew, but I have been unable to contact him in the Motherland.  If he reads this I hope he knows he is loved and missed.

This weekend we decided that we were going to go camping on Woody Island.  We headed over around 9 and looked for a secluded spot in the woods to pitch our tent. 

Remember we had three good hours of daylight left so 9 was not that late of a start.  The group of us then sat by the fire eating hot dogs, marshmallows, graham crackers and Hershey’s bars.  I’m not the biggest fan of smores in the world; I lean toward solo mallows.  I did however make a discovery that if you take a hotdog and cut it into four pieces you can load a roaster stick up the following way.

Mallow-hotdog-mallow-hotdog-mallow-hotdog-mallow-hotdog-mallow

Of course you have to put the hotdog pieces on perpendicular to the stick to make it all fit.  You end up with perfect marshmallows buffered by hotdog pieces that are hot on the outside and cool on the inside, just like a good rare steak.

Sweet and salty heaven!

After consuming mass quantities of campfire food we bedded down for a long night of sleep.

It was grand.

We awoke and wandered back to the fire with the coals still glowing. Coals are perfect tool for boiling water and preparing breakfast.  However, the rest of the group was huddled around two jet boil devices.

If you are not familiar with the jet boil look it up. It is a self-contained backpacking apparatus that can boil a little more than a cup of water in about five minutes.  I used my camping pot to boil a liter of water (4 cups) in about three minutes and I didn’t even have to use the compressed gas that the jet boils run off of (they are expensive and I am cheap).

Oh well, whatever makes you happy.

We had a delicious breakfast of oatmeal and tea. I brought two kinds of loose-leaf tea and two tea balls, but I could only get Miss A. S. to drink tea with me.  If you are that person, you are awesome and are welcome to my tea stash any time.  This same person woke up with her eye-swelled shut and we never figured out what happened to it. I prayed that she would be healed and several days later she is almost back to normal. 

She didn’t even take a picture of her swollen eye, and it was awesome.

The plan was for the skiff to pick up counselors at around 11 a.m., but it did not show up until around 2 p.m., which irritated a lot of the counselors.  I don’t know why they wanted to get back so fast.  The only thing to do in Kodiak is to sit by a fire and eat or go hiking and we had both of those things to do on Woody.

Again, whatever makes you happy.

As for my wife and me we stayed on the island with some friends who came over on the skiff (not counselors) from Kodiak to feast and hike.  It was a beautiful day full of fellowship and we even celebrated what would have been (the groom passed away a few years ago) a 50^th wedding anniversary with sparking grape juice and home made rhubarb cake. 

I really think the people that did not stay missed out on a lot of fun.

Beatitudes

This week of class we had was awesome.  It was lead by a youth minister from Spokane, Washington.  He shall remain nameless but he has the cutest 2 year old girl I have ever met in my life, but that is neither here nor there.

One of our class days we talked about the beatitudes.  We read the list in the Bible and tried to expand on the list of what Jesus was saying, or at least apply it directly to us as individuals.

This exercise is based on the fact the Jesus always played to the crowd gathered, and his list is not exhaustive.  If you think I’m a filthy liberal for trying to expand the teachings of Jesus I feel sorry for, and will pray for you.

The first part of the exercise was for us to write down a weakness of ours and then try to make it fit in the beatitude.

I wrote down that I often have time feeling sympathy for people who seem to make obvious poor choice after obvious poor choice.

I ended up with:

Blessed are those who lack sympathy for they will be given empathy.

Our friend Mr. O who is completely deaf in both ears and only hears through the modern miracle of cochlear implants said that he sometimes lacks courage to speak about Jesus in groups of people because his speech is not perfect.

He ended up with:

Blessed are those who lack courage, for they will be given the words to expand My kingdom.

Another friend of ours shared that she often feels timid and ended up with:

Blessed are those who are timid for they will be given boldness.

I thought this to be quite an interesting exercise, and I wanted to share it with all of you so that I don’t forget about it. 

So you might get your Bible out, read through Matthew chapter 5 and if you don’t find yourself exactly on that list try to expand it.

Spiders

When Jokes aren’t funny.

Our home in Kodiak was fogged for spiders prior to our moving in and we have not seen many since moving in, however the wife has recently seen more than she cares to see.  She recently saw one within 100 feet of the bedroom so she decided to check the sheets and the pillow before lying down.

When she lay down I sarcastically said, “There is a giant spider by your head.”

She didn’t sense the sarcasm in my voice. 

Any 3^rd grader would’ve told the same joke, but this was the wrong time to tell it.  Apparently the wife was exhausted and left her sense of humor in her pant’s pocket when she got ready for bed.

She proceeded to shake with terror as she felt giant hairy spider legs on her neck, or at least that is what she must have thought she felt.  I will impersonate her when we get back to the Motherland if you really want me to.

As soon as she realized I was joking she started bawling asking me why I would do something like that to her.

I have tried to dig myself out of this hole by apologizing and making the spider equivalent to a dream catcher.  It is a giant rainbow colored spider made from pipe cleaners and kite string to ward off any un-imaginary intruders from our nesting grounds.

Needless to say sometimes jokes aren’t funny.

Muffin or Dog

The Wife at Buskin River 

Neva showed up unexpectedly with Cocoa.  Cocoa’s owner is dog sitting her for a while and she is a bundle of joy. 

Neva and the Wife

I think the wife might try to steal this dog.  I think the wife likes her so much because Neva reminds her of our two favorite shorthairs at home especially the girl shorthair.  I was really staring to miss having a wife coved in shorthair.

The Wife and Neva

I can’t tell if the wife likes the muffin or the dog more.

Muffin in Danger

You decide.

Monashka Mountain

This weekend we decided to go backpacking with Mr. F.  Our plan was to hike to the top of Monashka Mountain and camp overnight, then spend the morning relaxing and hike back down the mountain in the afternoon. 

Latitude:  57.85444

Longitude:  -152.449

Elevation: 1800 ft

You can just type in Monashka Mountain in Google if you want to see it.

We gathered our ragtag group of hikers and set off to the top.  We expected to have five people at most but we ended up with nine.  By a show of hands the wife, Mr. F and myself were the only people who had actually been backpacking before.  Fortunately for the other six people we would be skipping the beginner and intermediate levels of backpacking and jumping straight into the miserable category.

Mr. F and the wife had been up this mountain years ago so I did not know what to expect.  The mountain was much steeper than it seemed from the ground and I soon found myself holding on for dear life.  We were scaling rock, but the rock was covered with vegetation so that you could hold onto it while you inched your way to the top. I have never had so much “fun” with a backpack full of gear crawling up a mountain. 

I neglected to tell Mr. F of my problems with heights until about half way up and he laughed at me.  It took him several hundred feet more to realize that I was serious and that I really do not like heights.  My wife summed the trip up pretty well when she said, “Now that I’m older this trip just doesn’t seem like a good idea, it doesn’t seem safe. I feel like I could fall off the edge at any time.”

She’s not even scared of heights.

Eventually (3 hours later) we made it to the top of the mountain and set up camp.  We had a pretty nice evening but the wind was a litter miserable.  By the time we laid down the wind was blowing so hard that one of tents we set up was looking like it was going to cave in.  Our tent was secured by placing large rocks on top of each stake so they could not be pulled out of the ground.  Our tent held strong, but it rattled so loudly that we never really fell asleep. 

At three in the morning we decided to just take our tent down and sleep in our bags over the hill where there was much less wind.  It was the best decision we could have made and the best two hours of sleep we had that night. 

Then next morning we decided to skip breakfast and just get off the top of the mountain because the wind conditions were less than safe (at least I felt so).  After a few hundred feet of descent the wind finally died down and we were able to enjoy the slide down.  Sliding is how we went down the mountain, which is much faster and a lot more fun than climbing.  Interestingly enough on the way up I felt like if I fell I would roll down the mountain. I was not looking forward to sliding down.  When the time came to slide down it was actually enjoyable and less than terrifying. Somehow the descent did not seem as steep, more mind games.

It only took about an hour to get down the mountain.

Who would’ve thunk it?

The wife said she wouldn’t be doing anything like Monashka any time soon.

Epilogue:

Here is a trick the wife played on me a couple of days later when we got home. She pulled out my underpants and showed them to me because the seat was coved with what I took to be feces.  She then accusingly asked me when I did this. I shamefully told her I didn’t remember but I guess I had made a mess. She then grinned and told me they were my pants I was wearing while sliding down the mountain.

She thinks she is so funny.

Ouzinkee

This last week was our week to spend in Ouzinkee kayaking with the local kids. 

However due to the plague and counselors leaving (another was told by her doctor she needed to return home because of her perpetual illness) and a whole list of other circumstances we didn’t go for the planned amount of time. 

We only went for four days.

It also rained everyday, which doesn’t mix well with my camera so I only took pictures one time while we were on a hike to the Sourdough Flats.  On our way we picked up a mascot that tagged along for the rest of the hike.

Milton W. Sprockett

I think the wife was sweet on that dog.

We had a great time kayaking and building fires with the kids.  They were amazing; they finished an entire bag of marshmallows in less than ten minutes and they were only given one marshmallow at a time.  The ten-minute binge accounted for the time it took to roast the marshmallows, build smores and eat them. 

Like I said, they were amazing.

Our last night was spent at the local high school gym (where you can’t wear shoes) playing scatter ball.  Scatter ball is a modified version of dodge ball where there are no teams and no sides. If you get hit with a ball you have to sit down, but if the ball rolls to you, you are allowed to throw it at people who are still standing. If you are still running around and you pick up the ball you have to throw the ball before you can move.  If you don’t get the rules just remember that there are not supposted to be teams, but often times there are alliances formed.

We started playing keeping track of how many games we had won.  Mr. F, the leader of the group said the first person to win seven games was the winner.  So, I did.  My closest competitor had won four games, but Mr. F then said let’s play to ten.  I was okay with that, but when I won my eighth game the rules were suddenly changed to everyone against me.  That was okay, I was able to win nine games, and eventually I won my tenth, but it wasn’t easy. 

I will admit that my celebration could have earned me a Sore Winner Award.

After the celebration we kept playing scatter ball, but now it was once again everyman for himself and I was not allowed to add victories.

I even got a trophy of sorts.

Sore Winner Award

I though I actually ripped the skin off of my toe, but luckily it just turned out to be the largest blood blister I have ever had or seen.

The group of counselors we went with made this trip very enjoyable (especially after crushing the in scatter ball), we spent many hours feasting and talking of God, our homes and ourselves. 

What a wonderful trip!

We didn’t even have to spend every night working for nothing (if you don’t get the joke read about our trip last year)

The trip would have been perfect if I hadn’t left my wallet at the mission in Ouzinkee.

P

Jesus may you be my lighthouse and show me how to shine so that others may see your beacon through me. 

Turn Your Head and......

The first week of camp was plagued by a plague.  Everyone has gotten sick that lives in the community houses in one way or another.  I have heard reports of fever, diarrhea, vomiting, the chills, headache and stuffy nose. I think if we dosed everyone up with a NyQuil and Pepto Bismol smoothie with a few raw eggs we’d be up and running in no time.

However, there is one type of sickness that cannot be cured with medicine.  That is homesickness, which like a lot of communicable diseases can be more prevalent among college students than old married men like myself.  I brought part of my family with me to Kodiak, because I can’t go to the bathroom without her.  This isn’t a complaint; it’s great especially when you run out toilet paper.

One of our counselors was struck down with a terrible case of homesickness and has left Kodiak to return home.

I wouldn’t care much but he’s from Indiana and I happen to be from Indiana. He’s going back to Fishers, which says a lot about him, I guess his Diddy never told him how us men from Indiana deal with our feelings.

STOICISM

I just hope his early departure doesn’t reflect poorly on the Motherland. 

My real beef is how he slithered away.

I was tipped off of his intentions to return home (as a result of homesickenss) before he announced his departure to the whole group of counselors.

I really wanted him to hold the Indiana Man strong and stay so I decided to encourage him to do so.

At dinner Mr. Foreman announced that he (the person leaving) had some news to tell the group.  This was a way to put him on the spot and make him tell everyone himself like a big boy that he was a worm and was going home because he was homesick. 

Here is how he did it.

Him:  Well, a job opened up at home and I have decided I’m going to change my ticket and head home because I need to make some money this summer.

Keep in mind he is from Fishers!!!!

The room went silent.

Me: What kind of job opened up that you’re going to leave Kodiak for?

Him:  I’m going to be working at a movie theatre with my buddy.

Me:  Well, there is a movie theater in Kodiak, I’m sure they’ll let you work there.  If you change your mind you can always stay.  You can always stay with us until you get on the plane.  We’d love to have you stay here with us for the summer.

He made this announcement on a Thursday night and I didn’t see him again until the next day.

This was our next conversation on Friday.

Me:  Hey you know we would still love you to stay here for the summer.

Him: Yeah but I’m going home I got to make some money this summer.

Me: Well, I’m not that old but I know you’ll regret getting on that plane your whole life. I know I would, you can always stay until you get on that plane.

Him:  Well, I’ve already changed my ticket and it was like 300 bucks to change it. 

Me: Well, I’m sure we could round up enough money to pay that for you so you can stay.  That money you make at the theatre won’t last, but the memories you make here will; you’ll regret it if you go home.  Do you know how many times you’ll have to tell people you left Kodiak to work at a movie theatre?  You can always changer your mind and stay; we’d love to have you.

I didn’t see him again until right before he left.

Me:  You know you don’t have to go, we would still love to have you stay, we can get that change fee taken care of for you.

Him:  No, I gotta make some money over the summer.

Me:  Okay, but promise me this…… when you are watching movies in the dark and you see the ocean come up on the silver screen you think of us here in Kodiak, and that you could be here looking at the ocean with us but instead you’re making that almighty dollar at the theatre.

Him: Alright.

Me: You can still change your mind; we would love to have you.  You can always change your mind before you get on that plane; there is a place for you here.

I was sincere about my desire to have him stay in Kodiak, I would’ve loved to convince him to stay, but again the almighty dollar has trumped a great opportunity for a young person.

When the campers ask me how much I get paid I am proud to say I don’t get paid anything. I decided to come up here this summer and spend my time with you instead of making money back in Indiana. 

It never ceases to amaze them that we don’t get paid and that we are here spending time with them because we want to be with them and show them love.

So I hope our counselor friend is over his sickness and squirms just as much as he did when we were trying to get him to stay, every time someone asks him why he left Kodiak to work in a theatre.

Thanks for the memories.