I shouldn't be writing this because I should be sleeping or studying or trying to keep my anxiety levels low enough I don't have a melt down again.
These last few months have been hard and my wife has kept me going, God put her here on earth not to serve me but to hold me up and let me cry on her shoulder when I stare into the gaping maw of failure, which has yet to come, but it's always dripping down the back of my neck.
Why am I doing this?
God has called me to do this and he doesn't call us to do things we can't, but he does call us to do things we can not do by ourselves, I know who he sent to help me. He sent whoever reads this, you can pray, but you probably don't want me breaking down on you. My wife takes care of that.
Back to who called.
I told one of my fellow students after class that God had called us to this, and that we will get through, and she agreed. The professor nearby asked what I meant. I told him that I wouldn't want any part of what I am doing if I knew God had not called me. I told him that I didn't feel like my country had called me to this and that I did not feel like I was doing this for my country.
We had just finished a lecture on feeding behaviour and obesity. He asked me if I was sure my country hadn't called me and after little thought I knew he was right.
I'm on my way to serve my neighbors and those who live in this country.
My father served in Vietnam, and I will serve here at home.
I know it is not the same, but I have always looked up to him for the time he spent in the Marines.
